So I have gone back and forth on whether or not I was going to put this on my blog. It's been 2 weeks since I was diagnosed and I haven't really told many people. Then I figured well, if someone else decides to go get tested for it then at least I have helped to spread awareness, so here I am!
I have been off birth control for almost 6 years now. I didn't go see my gyno for 5 of those years. Number one, because I just HATE going to the doctor. Number 2, because I HATE going to the gyno even more than I hate going to a regular doctor.
The reason I went after my 5 year hiatus is because I had started getting these really bad cramps about a year ago. It was like I was in high school again. Being on birth control always helped those cramps, but once I got off the birth control I realized that I didn't get migraines anymore. I had been getting about 3-4 a month right before my cycle for years. I decided that 3-4 migraines a month were way worse than the cramps I was getting. That was until recently....like 7 months.
All of the sudden not only was I getting the horrible cramps during my cycle, but I was getting them for about 4 days in a row, 10 days before my cycle started. I just thought they were ovulation cramps and I put up with them.
Each month they seemed to get worse and worse. Like waking up in the middle of the night pacing the house crying. I felt like I was having contractions (not that I know what that feels like!!) They were horrible. I would sweat and get out of breath and just double over in pain.
Finally I decided to go back. I had been for my annual in November and everything was normal, but these cramps were killing me. And the fact that I was getting them twice a month instead of once a month was even worse. Oh, and another factor that made me go back to the doc was that my cycles were getting closer and closer together. Instead of every 28 days they were coming like every 15-20 days. LUCKY ME!!!
My first appointment we just discussed what was going on and he took some blood work. He wanted me back for an ultrasound to really see what was going on.
I went in for the ultrasound 2 1/2 weeks ago. I have seen them on TV so I knew what to expect, until she said go in the bathroom and take off your pants....uh, excuse me, WHAT?? Yes that's right TAKE.OFF.YOUR.PANTS!!! This was NOT going to be the ultrasound I had seen on TV. I went in the bathroom and got the little sheet to cover up with and plopped down on the bed. Then she pulled out this baseball bat connected to a monitor and I knew the fun was about to begin!!!
Once the ultrasound was over I sat in the lobby with a pregnant teenage girl, her gma, her dad, and her 4 best guy friends (one I assume was the father) for what seemed like FOREVER until they called me back. Oh, and teen mom is having a girl by the way!
In my mind I thought he was going to sit me down and say....you are totally fine, you just have to deal with your heavy cramping. What he did say, I DID NOT expect.
First he told me I had 3 tumors. Not to worry though because they were not a big deal, but we need to watch them. Then he rolls his chair over to a poster on the wall of all these different pictures and "problems". He points out an ovary that is filled with cysts and says Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome above it. He said this is what you have. My eyes immediately went down to the bottom of the picture that said..."Instead of releasing a mature egg, a cyst is formed in the ovary". I thought to myself, does that mean what I think it means? Do I not ovulate? So of course he explained the picture to me and told me that yes, I do not ovulate monthly. He thinks I might ovulate once every year or every couple of years. My heart kind of dropped to my stomach and little tears welled up in my eyes, but I was not about to cry. Then I uttered the words..."So are you telling me I am infertile?", his answer, "Yes".
He went on to tell me that not only does this syndrome cause you to not ovulate, it causes your inulin levels to spike, which in return makes it very hard to lose weight. He told me that I hold on to every calorie I eat. He said when other people eat, their calories turn into energy, yours store as fat. That would explain why when I eat one skittle I gain 2 pounds, but my husband can eat a heart attack cheeseburger and lose 1! In all reality though, I had been very discouraged lately. I have been eating so well and working out so hard, but I was loosing like a 1/2 pound here and there. It just wasn't coming off like it should. So this news kind of came as a relief to me to find out what was going on.
He put me on metformin. It's a medication that will decrease my insulin levels and in return is supposed to help you start to ovulate. He said it should start working in about 6-8 months. When we start trying for a baby if we aren't successful pretty much right away, he will then put me on clomid. Not sure what the steps are after that.
All I know is that this is in God's hands. I have 100% faith that he will provide and I will be a mother, whether it's naturally or through adoption. I have an AMAZING husband who supports me more than any person ever has and has the same faith that I do. I have a HUGE group of family and friends that support me and encourage me as well. I am extremely blessed and couldn't ask for more. So, like my
post I wrote back in January, not only does this Lala want to be a Mama, this Lala WILL be a mama!
