Missing My Meeka

Well yesterday turned out to be a pretty horrible day. When Mike came home from work he shut the garage door like he always does. Apparently our cat, Meeka, ran out while it was shutting. She didn't make it and it squeezed her and killed her. Mike found her about 5-10 minutes after he came home when he went outside for something. I am not sure I will ever get that image out of my head. She was laying there and just looked like she was sleeping. We both pet her and kissed her good bye. I really can't remember the last time I was this sad. I just can't stop thinking about her which means I can't stop crying.

Meeka used to annoy the crap out of me. She used to meow to go out and then within 5 seconds she was meowing to come back in. She stole my hair ties all the time. She would play with them all over the house and then would flip them under the fridge. When we moved the fridge to get new floors we found over 25 hair ties courtesy of Meeka. With that said, she was the sweetest, friendliest cat I have ever been around. I really did love her a lot. She slept with us every night. She would sit by me all day while I worked. She was so amazing with kids. Mike and I have had several conversions about how awesome she would be with our future kids and how we just knew she would live for so long. I can't imagine ever finding another cat like her.

My heart is totally broken right now. I have made it through the hyperventilating crying and throwing up. Now I am on to the sad and pissed off crying. I just don't get it. It doesn't even seem real. I HATE THIS.